i mean – oh my god, they were roommates

why am I not getting all the rough sex I deserve

dietsodaz:

plntboy:

ven diagram ideas: one circle says gays. one circle catholics. in the middle it says “sexual guilt and dramatic aesthetics”

nbdyke:

me: i’m a bottom. i can’t do this

the drivers ed instructor: for the last time i don’t know what that means. i’m just trying to teach you to parallel park

crazyexedits:

I always wanted a daughter. My kids are not daughters. They’re terrible.

wilwheaton:

ut-anhaplz4:

I feel rlly bad about myself for doing this but I feel hella good about myself for doing it though lmao

“Congratulations Todd and Mr. Peanut Butter Peanut Butter Is Two Words And Don’t Print That”

rosewater1997:

me before coffee: sad

me after coffee: sad with a higher heart rate