This is going to be a full-length thing eventually but here’s a bit
“You should–probably get out of my apartment,” Foggy says, yawning and squinting at Wade. He’s making coffee, so it’s probably not really convincing. It probably says a lot about his life that a masked vigilante–not even his masked vigilante–crawls through his window and his first instinct is to sigh and start the coffee.
“Daredevil told me I couldn’t play with him,” Wade says, pouting. “I have nowhere else to go.”
“That sounds like a lie,” Foggy says. “The second part, the first part sounds very true. Will you–put the guns on the table? We’ve talked about this.”
“Yes, daddy,” Wade says, pulling off his mask so Foggy can see him waggle his eyebrows.
“We’ve talked about that, too,” Foggy mutters, washing mugs from the mess of dishes that he’s been ignoring for a couple of days. When he looks up again, there are two guns on his kitchen table and Wade is getting undressed.
“Like what you see?”
“I don’t know how to answer that question,” Foggy says. Their relationship is confusing. Wade is confusing. “Go get clothes if you’re staying. I have a limit to how many half-naked idiots I can have in my apartment in a week.”
Foggy’s basically been assigned to make sure Frank Castle takes a goddamn nap instead of going back out to murder people. He’s not sure how it happened, except Matt made a pretty face at him and batted his eyelashes and now Foggy’s had to buy three different couch covers to hide the bloodstains.
Matt doesn’t want Wade coming here but apparently he felt left out.
“How many men are you stringing along, Nelson?” Wade asks, raising his voice as he goes into Foggy’s bedroom, leaving the door open.
“None,” Foggy says. “I’m just unwillingly running a halfway house for hot extralegal crimefighters. And the occasional spider child.”
Wade’s fully naked when he appears in the doorway.
“You callin’ me hot?” he asks, grinning.
Foggy sighs.
“I don’t even know anymore,” he says.
*
“I guess this is happening,” Foggy says, surprised to find that he doesn’t actually care that Wade stole his bed before he could get in it. He’s wearing a pair of fuzzy teddy bear pajamas that Karen bought Foggy for Secret Santa last year–Karen grabbed onto the Foggy Bear nickname with way too much zeal.
There’s something about Wade that’s cute. It doesn’t override some of the more questionable parts of his existence, but–cute enough to put up with, at least, if he has to. At least he’s not vaguely threatening like Castle is.
“Jump in, daddy,” Wade says, yawning. “Water’s fine.”
“…you don’t make it easy, y’know,” Foggy murmurs, but he climbs in to lay next to him. “What’s with the whole daddy thing?”
“Mmm, you’re a real goddamn adult, Nelson,” Wade says. “Got a job, pay your bills, take care of people–pretty sure I’m not the only one who wants you to hold them down and fuck ‘em just right and hold them until the sun comes up.”
That doesn’t sound like a joke.
“Do you really want that?” Foggy asks, softly.
“Kiss me and find out,” Wade says, turning to look at him. “Or fuck me–either way. Both ways. I’ll take my pants off right now. Your pants. Both pairs of your pants currently in your bed.”
Foggy laughs despite himself.
“Just go to sleep, Deadpool,” he says.
“Whatever you say, daddy,” Wade says.
oh my god, they were roommates 