Justin: I’ll just ask her. Okay, hold on. [sounds of him walking away from the mic]
Griffin: But I wanna hear it!
Justin: [yelling, at a distance] Hey Sydnee! Hey Syd!
Sydnee: [at even more of a distance] What?
Justin: [yelling] Why doesn’t the penis gain fat? [pause] Why doesn’t the penis get fat?
[Griffin and Travis snicker for a while]
Justin: [comes back to the mic] She says Jesus.
Griffin: [bursts into laughter]
I’m not sure what would be better; listing Sydnee as ‘Dr. Sydnee Mcelroy’ so non-fans understand that Justin is bothering a real life doctor, or just leaving her as ‘Sydnee’ so it looks like Justin is asking his wife this insane question like he’s some kind of toddler bugging his mom
You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we’ll make something
Me myself I got nothing to prove
please listen to this clip of travis explaining why he’s never been in a fight
it’s from a really early episode (15) so most people probably won’t get to it but i need you all to hear it because i think about it constantly
Travis: You know why I never got in a fight? I was taking a stage combat class and the professor grabbed my wrist and held my fist up in the air and announced, very loudly, “Does everyone see this? Travis McElroy has fists of iron! If he were to ever accidentally hit someone he would kill them!” Justin: Yep. Travis: So I’ve lived in fear that the first time I punch somebody, dead. Griffin:[laughing] You’ll knock their eye out! Justin: That’s a heavy burden! Travis: Just straight up kill them. Griffin: Well, Travis, you’ve been in more fights than all of us, ‘cause I remember one time in middle school there was an altercation where you beat the shit out of somebody with a trombone case. Travis: That is correct! Knocked him right on his ass! Griffin: Ohhh, good times, good times.
I remember this. but also I love how it starts with “you know why I never got in a fight?” And ends with “you’ve been in more fight than any of us”. Like damn if that isn’t exactly how memory works.
this is what plays when you’re dying and your life is flashing before your eyes
*puts this on my End Of The World playlist*
Ok @peachcrushedvelvet is 100% accurate but here are several other situations I feel this beautiful creation could apply to
1. End of the world type of experience as noted above by @nero-neptune i.e. meteors falling and people running, things exploding and desperately trying to survive
2. Desperately running through your house avoiding attackers (guns, projectiles, of some type)
3. You’re in a library and you accidentally knock something over which knocks over all of the shaves domino style and you’re running down the hallway with them falling in the background.
Everybody please contribute
4. You finally experience love at first sight, but they’re in the middle of a bank heist and you’re getting caught in the cross fire
5. You’re getting arrested in roller skates at the laundromat
6. Intergalactic space travel in the form of a gay cruise
oh my god, they were roommates 