tw mental health – oh my god, they were roommates

the new anxiety meds i’m on are making me feel dull and dizzy and drowsy and i hate it and i hate having to try so hard and still not having it work out and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i started taking an anti-psychotic this week and so far it’s just made me droooowsy but at least if i’m drowsy, i’m not feeling seventeen feelings at several varying degrees of intensity all at once

hi, i’m super dizzy and disoriented, i think from trying a higher dose of lithium (which i hate, it’s been so effective but i hate) and also there’s too much noise in the library and i can’t focus and i can’t talk to people well and my brain is flashing a frequent: do something to make everybody worry about you!!!! don’t actually kill yourself but kill yourself just a little!!!!! throw your cellphone away and gone girl yourself but just for a day or two!!!!!!!!!

it’s no good, y’all.

if you have a nice matt/foggy fact or feeling or drabble or literally anything, leave them in my inbox and i’ll gaze at them and use them to distract myself because thinking about those dumb boys has always been an effective distraction.

I was at, like, you should probably take yourself to the emergency room levels of bad thoughts yesterday but I’d already taken sleeping pills, so I just went to sleep instead. And I woke up feeling…pretty okay? It’s a wild inconsistent ride up in here.