Tag: tw rape fantasy

today in one single hour therapy session:

  • she talked me through how i was feeling about seeing that guy almost jump off a bridge and i went from shaky and heart-racy to kinda relaxed. because talking! about things! 
  • i taught my therapist what fanfiction is and basically said, “A lot of it’s just about…making stuff gayer? And a lot of it’s sexual. Like. A lot.” 
  • i taught my therapist what ageplay is because i had an incident trying to write it so that was….something…..
  • we talked through all the possible memories and signs of suppressed abuse that my anxiety brain’s been compiling for three days and it’s totally not a thing and everything’s fine
  • we talked about rape fantasies (ft. men) and she tried to be kink positive about it before i was, like, “NOPE, I DON’T WANT THESE” so then it was how to deal with intrusive thoughts and basically my homework is to work on interrupting my thoughts and also just to spend more time thinking about doing positive kinky stuff with ladies to get nicer fantasies 
  • THERAPY’S WEIRD AND I HATE IT BUT ALSO IT’S GOOD? 

speaking less positively of kinks, but being a lesbian who has noncon/dubcon fantasies about men fucking sucks and i’m extremely glad to have the ability to project that onto fictional characters

whole thing with the kind of rape fantasies where it’s not about not wanting what’s happening so much as not wanting to ADMIT you want it, which is almost impossible to find porn of that isn’t more creepy than hot – like it would have to be… long term kink partners with some kind of sex bet where the dom wins by turning their partner on enough to beg for it and the sub wins by holding out, maybe. usually i give up and go for tentacle monsters.

I FEEL LIKE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT AND I AM 100% WITH YOU. 

Also, the casual “oh or tentacle monsters” at the end made me laugh so hard

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