Tag: gina linetti

8 & 4, if you’re still doing the meme thing and uhhh working at a bakery together?

Matt & Gina Linetti 

“Alright, I’m tired of watching you make lovestruck faces,” Gina says, bumping Matt with her hip while they’re standing at the counter together. “I’m going to have you in that guy’s bed by Tuesday.” 

“Okay, first of all, it’s already Tuesday,” Matt says, slowly, “and what guy?” 

Gina scoffs.

“I’m giving you a very dry look right now, Matthew,” she says. She only calls him Matthew like that when she’s about to try to fix whatever she thinks is wrong with his life. It–normally works out pretty well, actually, once all the literal glitter and smoke clears, but he just wishes she would ask first. 

“Okay, I know what guy,” he says, softly, trying not to turn his head in Foggy’s direction. He always comes in on Tuesdays and Thursdays when he’s out of class, gets a large black coffee and a muffin, and sits at a table in the corner. 

According to Gina, he also always looks at Matt like he wants to both pet him and eat him. 

“This is your chance to claw your way out of your pit of sexual repression, my dude,” Gina says.

“I’m not repressed,” Matt says, sighing. “I’m just–”

“Catholic?” she offers. 

“I mean, yeah, very,” he says, “but I’ve just never dated a guy before. I wouldn’t know where to start.” 

“Would you like my mostly heterosexual except for occasionally on the weekends advice?” she asks. She’s going to give it to him whether he likes it or not, so Matt turns to get a cup of coffee for himself and take a long sip before he gestures for her to proceed.

“Buy him a drink and suck his dick,” Gina says, seriously.

“That’s it?” he asks, trying not to laugh.

“He looks like a cuddler,” she says, “so you might want to hold his hand before you suck his dick. But otherwise, yeah.” 

“…yeah, okay,” Matt says, after a second. “I can do that.” 

Autumn fic meme: Brooklyn 99, any characters/pairing, and 28, 13, or 21

this is just a tiny bit ridiculous:

“You look…cozy,”
Boyle says, suspiciously, when Rosa comes in one morning wearing a soft plaid
flannel shirt shot through with lines of yellow and orange and red. She shoots
him a look that makes him look away immediately, turning back to his work. “Never
mind, I didn’t say anything.”

“No, you’re right, Boyle,” Jake says. “Cozy is exactly
what Rosa looks right now. Why are you wearing colors?”

“It’s fall,” Rosa says, roughly. “These are fall
colors. Leaves and—garbage like that.”

“You wear black for every season,” Amy says. “I bought
you a coffee mug that says that for Christmas.”

“I smashed that mug,” Rosa says.

“I know, it hurt my feelings,” Amy says, frowning at
her, “but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

Jake’s squinting at Rosa, tilting his head slowly to
one side.

“That’s not your shirt,” he says, dramatically. “That
shirt—belongs to someone else.”

“You’re accusing me of stealing this shirt?” Rosa
asks, flatly.

“Not stealing,” Jake says, smiling. “I think you got laid.”

“GINA GOT LAAAAIIIID,”
Gina yells, stepping off the elevator at that exact moment, blasting an air
horn in one hand and holding up her phone, which is playing “Pony” by Ginuwine
at full volume.

Jake’s smile grows even bigger, turning to beam at
Rosa.

“I’m so happy for you!” he says.

“I said no airhorn,” Rosa grits out.

Gina’s too busy grinding in the air to the music to
pay attention.

Thanks to your Daredevil/Brooklyn 99 ficlet, I am now convinced that Gina and Foggy are epic shenanigans bros and meet up every couple of months to bitch and plot more ridiculousness.

YEP

things which gina linetti and foggy nelson have shenanigan’d together that i made up right this second 

  • arrested twice but it was jake both times so it was, like, mostly symbolic and he just yelled, “I’M SCARING YOU STRAIGHT” a bunch which was followed by about fourteen bisexuality jokes because all three of them are bi as hell
  • accidentally became internet famous for writing erotic daredevil rpf which started as a joke but eventually got way too serious. gina’s got a gift for euphemisms and foggy’s got the inside info and an extensive knowledge of weird sex stuff (thanks, marci). 
  • they’re discovered because amy santiago 150% reads erotic superhero rpf and by that i mean her and jake read them together, probably, to spice things up 
  •  please imagine a conversation between gina and amy in which the fact that amy reads her weird superhero porn comes to light; i’ll wait 
  • kicked out of more than two bars for getting drunk and singing duets together 
  • having flirting competitions at luke’s because their collective crush on him is stupendously large. nobody ever wins but luke secretly loves it—his is not one of the bars they’ve been kicked out of.
  • that’s all i can think of BUT YEP THEY CHILL 

wait okay so if ur doing the LJ meme thing, maybe characters 2 and 7 are trapped in a broken elevator? did I do it right?

NICK MILLER AND GINA. EVERYBODY PICKED GINA. 

“There was once a time that I wasn’t stuck in this elevator,” Nick says. “It was a simpler time. You weren’t there. I miss that.”

“I’m sensing a lot of hostility from your corner,” Gina says, “and I’d like to address it head-on by saying: chill your face out, you anxious baby lumberjack.”

“My face is chill,” Nick says. “This is a chill face.”

“From your whole aura right now,” Gina says, “I’m pretty sure you’ve never been chill a day in your life.”

“Don’t look at my aura,” Nick says, frowning at her. He doesn’t know what that is, but he doesn’t want this lady looking at it, not after she took one look at him after she stepped into the elevator and said something about his Dad Bod, which–he’s not a dad, and he certainly does not have the bod of one.

“Can’t help it, Broseph,” she says. “This is a small elevator and it’s all up in my business. Why don’t you pop a squat next to Auntie Gina here and tell me your woes?”

“I don’t have woes,” Nick says, obstinately.

This is a lie. He has an extensive list of woes, but he doesn’t need to tell them to a stranger who he is stuck in a small box with.

“C’mon, baby doll,” she says, dryly. “What’s her name?”

Nick raises his eyebrows.

“…Jessica,” he says, eventually, shoulders slumping. This lady might be a witch or maybe he just needs someone to talk to. He can’t be sure.

Gina pats the ground next to her.

“Let it out,” she says. “If we use up all the air with your romantic nonsense, maybe we’ll die faster.”

characters 3 and 7 end up sitting next to each other in a crowded theater. conflict over arm rests/talking during the movie/which character was the best ensues?

“No, I understand that you need the arm rest and all other available space so that you can sit down all of your weird emotional baggage,” Gina drawls, during the previews. “What I don’t understand is why we’re at a movie. It’s a visual medium, Matthew. I’m staring pointedly at you.”

“You said you wanted to see it,” Matt says, simply. “We’re friends.”

“I also said I wanted to make out with your abnormally handsome face and you denied that humble request,” Gina says. “What kind of friend are you?” 

“Are you gonna narrate for me or not?” 

“…wait, hold up, you want me to talk during the movie?” she asks. 

Matt smiles. 

“It would help,” he says. 

“Damn, this is like a dream date,” she says.“Or it would be, you know, if this was actually a date. And you were a celebrity chef or that guy on a horse from the Old Spice commercial.” 

“I guess you’ll just have to make do with me,” Matt says, offering her the popcorn. She takes it from him. 

“I guess so, bruh,” she says. “Now get ready for the best damn color commentary you’ve ever experienced.” 

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